going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
