two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
