When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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