I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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