Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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