The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
