i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
