Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Nicole vs. Life
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
