can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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