"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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