i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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