Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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