Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
handjob tips. give me some.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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