But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
