Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
