I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
