after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dick very happy bro
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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