I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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