We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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