please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
