just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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