I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
