This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just cropdusted the office
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
