i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
