First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
