Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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