Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You took a bar mat shot.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
