i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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