Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
