oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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