Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
