why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
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Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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