her vagine was all disorganized.
no, he came in my armpit
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Shame - the story of my life.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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