i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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