i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize