Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
