Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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