ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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