Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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