i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
