tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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