I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
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After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
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I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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