I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
