You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
