You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize