Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
