How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
