Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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