Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
