when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
