When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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