I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
