Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
