i jhust puked up my retainher.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
