Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
