thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
