Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
