my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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