We named our party play list daddy issues
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
