some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just pee around me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
