Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
