brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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