I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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