she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
