youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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