I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
